My Brain: Look, I cannot allow this to continue.
Me: What, you got a problem with photography now?
My Brain: No, not photography. Instagram.
Me: Well, that’s where photographers post, don’t they? And it’s not like I’m revealing my life to everyone there. It’s just gonna be photos of trees and stuff.
No, Wrin dear, I am not changing it to ‘just My Brain’. And no, the title’s not too long.
Well, hello there. Three days ago, it was C&C Fac’s 3rd anniversary, and even though my 12th board exams are literally starting in 17 days (yes, I counted), I’ve come out of this blogging exile just for this anniversary post, which is basically the only tradition over here.
Scene: 7 p.m., my room, time for my Physics tuition and my Physics/Chemistry tutor is making notes of Magnetic Effects of Electric Current in my register. A little context here- he makes notes of a particular topic and then explains it to me. He’s also a Reiki healer, an astrologer, a numerologist and a tarot reader. Science+Pseudoscience= What the hell.
My Brain: Why doesn’t he hurry up? It’s been a minute already. I’m bored.
Me: I know. Me too. *Drums fingers on table*
My Brain: You should stop doing that. It’s rude and obnoxious, not to mention monotonous.
Me: Maybe I should drum the Doctor Who theme, then. Much more entertaining.
My Brain: You know what else would be entertaining? Telling him what a load of bullcrap his astrology is.
Me: Because that’s not rude and obnoxious.
Wrinkles: I see you’ve titled this post like a 5-year-old. ‘A Conversation with Wrinkles?’ No one’s gonna read it.
Me: Five-year-olds don’t blog.
Wrinkles: None except you. Retitle it. Right now.
Me(grinning smugly): That’s gonna cause a paradox, Wrin dear. Besides, do you not remember our last conversation? I’m gonna stay true to my word.
Wrinkles: I do, but the readers won’t, and this post will be a flop, so change it right now. And stop titling my dialogues with ‘Wrinkles’. Do it right now, or-
Me: Or? What’re you gonna do? Jump out of my head and kill both of us? Continue reading
My Brain (singing): I’ve been a liar, been a thief, been a lover, been a cheat-
Me: Oi, liar and cheat, stop singing and help me out with a blog post.
My Brain: Oh, how annoying you are. Can’t you ever go help yourself? Type out one of the stories you wrote last week.
Me: I am annoying? Oh, look who’s talking. And is the mind palace I created after I watched Sherlock of no use? It’s the One-Year Anniversary of my blog.
After half a year, I’ve finally made up another parody. The original poem is ‘Invictus’ by W.E. Henley and it’s truly a wonderful poem. Do read it here if you haven’t yet. This is also the first time I’ll be commenting on current events on my blog through this very parody. The current event I’m talking about is the Padmaavat riots in India and my Indian fellas would know all about it since it’s all people are talking about these days. Despite all this tension, I’m comforted by the fact that at least the movie was able to release today. If you couldn’t make head or tail of the previous two lines, you can read about the controversy here.
Today, I’m not expressing myself through either poetry or prose. This is just a raw post, of me talking to- not my brain this time- but to you. With no literary coverings. If that’s not what you’d like to read, you can just skip this post- I won’t hold it against you. I promise.
Me: I’ve been trying for almost a couple of hours, but I still can’t sleep. I think I’m in love.
My Brain: Stop kidding yourself, girl. It’s because you slept for four hours in the noon.
Me: I still have five hours of sleep left. Why don’t you stop thinking so much and let me sleep?
My Brain: That’s because you have so much to do. How about we start drafting that apology letter?
Greetings, readers! As my pre-mid term exams are starting from tomorrow, here’s a parody of William Shakespeare’s 55th sonnet, ‘Not marble, nor the Gilded Monuments‘. Enjoy!
Me: So it’s blog-day Sunday today, and I swear I’m gonna write something. No excuses.
My Brain: Oh yeah? What about the first chapter of Geography- Resources and Development?
Me: Alright. I’ll write a haiku. It won’t take much time.
My Brain: Don’t kid yourself. You’ve never written a haiku before.
Me: That doesn’t mean I can’t. Give me something, Brain. Continue reading