Conversations with my brain: A Conversation with my brain

For the uninitiated, Wrinkles is my brain.

Wrinkles: No it’s not.

Me: I’ve already opened your dialogue tag with that. And I have no plans to change that.

Wrinkles: You think it’s a clever and taunty name for me, but it’s not.

Me: Hmm. Maybe I should do like an anagram of the word ‘Brain’. How about Brian? Top marks for not tryin’?

Brian: Pot, kettle, black.

Me: Brian, being, racist.

Brian: See, this is what you keep doing in every one of these: you pretend to take an idiom literally and then it’s like hahaha, so funny. If anyone’s “not tryin'”, it’s you.

Me: Oh, hon, I don’t need to try to insult you. You just inspire mockery by virtue of your very existence.

Brian: And so, by definition, do you.

Me: Oh my. Look at that. You’re agreeing with me on something. I can feel the historicity of this moment radiating like a museum’s.

Brian: If disagreements piss you off that much I don’t get why you even bother writing these ‘conversations with my brain’. All you ever write in them is me judging your bad life decisions and you trying to be funny by humiliating me.

Me: You judging my life decisions and me humiliating you isn’t restricted to the written word.

Brian: To be fair, that was only the last one’s pattern. All the others are practically me annoying you and you annoying me in return.

Me: A proper symbiotic relationship indeed. And as a gesture of good faith I will start retitling your dialogue tags.

Brian: For real?

Me: Hey, I don’t say things I don’t mean. There you go.

Instagram and other black holes: A Conversation with my brain

My Brain: Look, I cannot allow this to continue.

Me: What, you got a problem with photography now?

My Brain: No, not photography. Instagram.

Me: Well, that’s where photographers post, don’t they? And it’s not like I’m revealing my life to everyone there. It’s just gonna be photos of trees and stuff.

Bored in tuition class- A Conversation with my brain

Scene: 7 p.m., my room, time for my Physics tuition and my Physics/Chemistry tutor is making notes of Magnetic Effects of Electric Current in my register. A little context here- he makes notes of a particular topic and then explains it to me. He’s also a Reiki healer, an astrologer, a numerologist and a tarot reader. Science+Pseudoscience= What the hell. 

My Brain: Why doesn’t he hurry up? It’s been a minute already. I’m bored.

Me: I know. Me too. *Drums fingers on table*

My Brain: You should stop doing that. It’s rude and obnoxious, not to mention monotonous.

Me: Maybe I should drum the Doctor Who theme, then. Much more entertaining.

My Brain: You know what else would be entertaining? Telling him what a load of bullcrap his astrology is.

Me: Because that’s not rude and obnoxious.

Ringing in 2019- A Conversation with Wrinkles

Wrinkles: I see you’ve titled this post like a 5-year-old. ‘A Conversation with Wrinkles?’ No one’s gonna read it.

Me: Five-year-olds don’t blog.

Wrinkles: None except you. Retitle it. Right now.

Me(grinning smugly): That’s gonna cause a paradox, Wrin dear. Besides, do you not remember our last conversation? I’m gonna stay true to my word.

Wrinkles: I do, but the readers won’t, and this post will be a flop, so change it right now. And stop titling my dialogues with ‘Wrinkles’. Do it right now, or-

Me: Or? What’re you gonna do? Jump out of my head and kill both of us?

One-year Anniversary- A Conversation with my brain

My Brain (singing): I’ve been a liar, been a thief, been a lover, been a cheat-

Me: Oi, liar and cheat, stop singing and help me out with a blog post.

My Brain: Oh, how annoying you are. Can’t you ever go help yourself? Type out one of the stories you wrote last week.

Me: I am annoying? Oh, look who’s talking. And is the mind palace I created after I watched Sherlock of no use? It’s the One-Year Anniversary of my blog.

Sleepless nights- A Conversation with my brain

Me: I’ve been trying for almost a couple of hours, but I still can’t sleep. I think I’m in love.

My Brain: Stop kidding yourself, girl. It’s because you slept for four hours in the noon.

Me: I still have five hours of sleep left. Why don’t you stop thinking so much and let me sleep?

My Brain: That’s because you have so much to do. How about we start drafting that apology letter?

Writer’s Block-A Conversation with my brain

Me: So it’s blog-day Sunday today, and I swear I’m gonna write something. No excuses.

My Brain: Oh yeah? What about the first chapter of Geography- Resources and Development?

Me: Alright. I’ll write a haiku. It won’t take much time.

My Brain: Don’t kid yourself. You’ve never written a haiku before.

Me: That doesn’t mean I can’t. Give me something, Brain.