For the uninitiated, Wrinkles is my brain.
Wrinkles: No it’s not.
Me: I’ve already opened your dialogue tag with that. And I have no plans to change that.
Wrinkles: You think it’s a clever and taunty name for me, but it’s not.
Me: Hmm. Maybe I should do like an anagram of the word ‘Brain’. How about Brian? Top marks for not tryin’?
Brian: Pot, kettle, black.
Me: Brian, being, racist.
Brian: See, this is what you keep doing in every one of these: you pretend to take an idiom literally and then it’s like hahaha, so funny. If anyone’s “not tryin'”, it’s you.
Me: Oh, hon, I don’t need to try to insult you. You just inspire mockery by virtue of your very existence.
Brian: And so, by definition, do you.
Me: Oh my. Look at that. You’re agreeing with me on something. I can feel the historicity of this moment radiating like a museum’s.
Brian: If disagreements piss you off that much I don’t get why you even bother writing these ‘conversations with my brain’. All you ever write in them is me judging your bad life decisions and you trying to be funny by humiliating me.
Me: You judging my life decisions and me humiliating you isn’t restricted to the written word.
Brian: To be fair, that was only the last one’s pattern. All the others are practically me annoying you and you annoying me in return.
Me: A proper symbiotic relationship indeed. And as a gesture of good faith I will start retitling your dialogue tags.
Brian: For real?
Me: Hey, I don’t say things I don’t mean. There you go. Continue reading