Sorry

Hi, I am sorry I said all that stuff to you
It wasn't me, alright? I'm sorry, please don't hate me.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner
It was my fault, alright? I'm sorry, please don't leave me.

I am sorry I keep saying 'I don't know'
I am sorry I'm unsure about everything
I am sorry I was dancing in my room two hours ago
And am crying tears of ballpoint pen ink in my diary now.

I am sorry for oversharing
I am sorry for not sharing
I am sorry for overthinking
I am sorry for not thinking at all
I am sorry for being so quiet
I am sorry for sniffling so loud, please go back to sleep
I am sorry for being too lazy, too cowardly to deal with my problems
I am sorry for thinking about them all day long
I am sorry for being so insecure 
I am sorry for believing there's nothing wrong with me at all
I am sorry for being an aloof ice-queen
I am sorry for holding on to you so tight
I am—

Hello, my name is Sorry
Before you make your complaint known, 
Please know I've slashed a neuron already
In compensation for your bereavement,
I hope this little murder of my self
Will be enough payment for my crime?
No? Well you know my name, 
So here's another cut for you, good sir
I hope the blood is red enough?
Thank you, have a nice day!

I am sorry I get triggered so easily
I am sorry I pretend not to give a fuck at all
I am sorry I can't tell the difference 
between what's real and what's not
I am sorry I disappear and stop talking
I am sorry I send you a thousand texts a day
I am sorry I blame the knife
When my bones themselves are double-edged swords
I am sorry I cannot figure out who I am
I am sorry for screaming into the void all day long
I am sorry all I write these days are sad-ass poems
And my blog, my napowrimo, seems like a giant shitpost
I am sorry I don't have a life
But am still living for some reason—
I am sorry for giving life a chance every moment
I am sorry for the six attempts I wear as badges;

Hello, my name is Sorry
I apologise for my trains of thought
That do not have a station
I apologise for feeling the way I feel
You'll have to forgive my brain, you see
It's... er... special, you understand
I humbly apologise, even though it's not my fault
I apologise for my existence
And the inconvenience it's caused you. 

13th April/ (11/30) / Free verse

Killing the Creator (part 14)

Click here to read the previous parts.

A steady breeze rustled the leaves of the trees in Nehru Park and made the clothes hanging out on the railings of the houses surrounding it flutter ghostily. The Park was deserted, the time being 2 A.M., except for three people who were standing in a triangle near the henna bushes.

A tall bespectacled girl with tangled brown hair stood at one end, her usually alert grey eyes heavy and tired. But she still stood upright, never slouching.

“I gave everything for this.” She locked eyes with the denimmed boy at the apex of the triangle. “You have to.”

Before he had a chance to reply, however, the short girl with a long black ponytail at the other end addressed him.

“I know you’re not a bad person,” she said, her soft brown eyes pleading. “What we had was not all fake, you know. We laughed at your name, remember?” She was trying to be strong and not let them see her cry. “I beat you at badminton.” She smiled sorrowfully.

The tall girl was starting to say something, but the boy didn’t hear it. A loud ringing filled his ears and-

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Sleepless nights- A Conversation with my brain

Me: I’ve been trying for almost a couple of hours, but I still can’t sleep. I think I’m in love.

My Brain: Stop kidding yourself, girl. It’s because you slept for four hours in the noon.

Me: I still have five hours of sleep left. Why don’t you stop thinking so much and let me sleep?

My Brain: That’s because you have so much to do. How about we start drafting that apology letter?

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