No, Wrin dear, I am not changing it to ‘just My Brain’. And no, the title’s not too long.
Well, hello there. Three days ago, it was C&C Fac’s 3rd anniversary, and even though my 12th board exams are literally starting in 17 days (yes, I counted), I’ve come out of this blogging exile just for this anniversary post, which is basically the only tradition over here.
(Not counting the every 100-followers milestones, but when do those happen).
Self-pity aside, welcome to the Factory’s third birthday party (which is three days late, but at least it’s taking place). I thought a lot about what to do for this traditional post, and finally, I settled on something that will be not just be special, but also useful to the one-digit strong (army? fandom? fam?) who still reads this more-than-dormant-but-less-than-active blog. Since I’m under the
delusion impression that I have a humorous writing voice from the cough cough numerous feedbacks spits out soda I’ve received, here’s an extremely useful guide on how to be funny, written by none other than than the very annoying, the very asinine, Wrinkles.
(Reader discretion advised for those with katastichophobia.)
- Be sesquipedalian. Use long obscure words no one is familiar with, so that only lexicographers and vocabulary nerds get you and appreciate your intellectual sense of humour while the masses are left googling (see what I did there?).
- Remember, sarcasm is not a good form of humour.
- Use non-sequiturs to your advantage.
- In a high wind, even turkeys can fly.
- Pun your way to greatness, because puns are not lame. They are marathon runners.
- Be self-deprecatory, because you suck anyway.
- Insult your good-for-nothing readers who are the only thing keeping your blog alive.
- Make jokes on political ideologies and social movements even if you know nothing about them, because chances are, your reader doesn’t either, but will laugh anyway because it seemed like an intellectual joke. And if you’re unlucky and they do know something about it and take offense, you can always pass it off as your dark sense of humour, because let’s be real, communism is the wife of economic liberalisation.
- Similar to point number eight, you can also use Science and Maths instead of Social Science, because scientists are sexy. Sexy as one-over-cosine of C.
- If all else fails, use gifs. Lots of gifs.
And that marks the end of three years of the Factory’s life. Bonus points to you if you got the joke in point nine. Let me know in the comments how useful or useless Wrinkles’ handcrafted guide was to you, and bonus-plus points to you if you add any more tips. Start from Eleven.
(Whaddup Stranger Things reference.)
(Shut up Anisha, your post is over.)